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— Donald Trump"This whole [presidential] election is being rigged. These lies, spread by the media, without witnesses, without backup or anything else."
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It's not my fault Snow didn't have any other options coming out of high school. If going to college gets you a career backup goaltender job, and my route gets you a thousand points and a thousand games, and compare the two contracts, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out whose decision was better.
— Jeremy Roenick
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You can't always be 100-percent positive that a joke will work, so you've just got to try it. Fortunately, if one new joke doesn't work, I've got lots of old ones that do. Just like cops, it's important to have backup.
— Doug Benson
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